Professors

14.03 Intermediate Microeconomics

From the lecture notes by Franklin M. Fisher:

• Interest ... Having 100 yuan today is more valuable than having 100 yuan a year from now even if there is no inflation.
• Public Goods ... It is impossible to defend China ... without defending the people who live there. One cannot have an army defending only the people in Wuhan who want to be defended. If most of the people are defended by the army, the rest will be defended also.

18.022 Multivariable Calculus

Hartley Rogers, Jr.: "All unicorns in the Boston Zoo are purple." This statement is true even though there are no unicorns in the Boston Zoo, because if you were to find one there, it would be purple.

Hartley Rogers, Jr.: The prize for the winner of the Newton Award for 18.022 is a package of Fig Newtons. And the winner of the Leibnitz Award will get a box of Leibnitz cookies.

18.03 Differential Equations

Arthur P. Mattuck: So what is this sort of equation called?
Random student: Homogenous.
Arthur P. Mattuck: Homogenous, no, that would describe milk.

Arthur P. Mattuck: Suppose this is a boat, and this is an armed lighthouse. Well, lighthouses shouldn't be armed ... I don't know, maybe the boat is running drugs or something. The path of fire from the lighthouse will follow the boat, causing its occupents to abandon ship, or perhaps to abandon drug-running.

Arthur P. Mattuck: You decided what u would be. So this equation uses u, and only you know what u is.

Arthur P. Mattuck: That's the convolution of two exponential functions -- something you all encountered at four o'clock this morning.

Arthur P. Mattuck: And the heavens opened up, the light shined through, and a merciful God made these terms cancel out.

Arthur P. Mattuck: Will the real Laplace transform please stand up?
Students: (break out in laughter at this unexpected reference to the song)
Arthur P. Mattuck: I didn't realize that was funny.

Arthur P. Mattuck: The bottom line is that we've reduced love to a system of differential equations.

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Lecture Series Committee

During the 23rd Annual Science Fiction Marathon, Sunday, January 28, 2001
SLY: Get out.
JAH: Um ...
SLY: Get out. Get out. Get out!

During Close Encounters of the Third Kind, before NUT and I projected Aliens
JAH: You shouldn't do this.
NUT: (sleepily) What?
TY: (sleepily) Huh?
JAH: Projectionists shouldn't be sleeping together. And certainly not in the booth. It's happened in the past.
TY: Has it?
JAH: Yeah, and it got to the point where they were missing changeovers during a show.

Right before NUT and I projected Aliens
MDS: Apparently, every time LSC has shown Alien, Aliens, or any of the sequels, the film melted, the projector shut down, or something else went horribly wrong.
NUT: Thanks for telling us that.
MDS: Well, it's certainly something that you should be aware of.

During the next Gencomm
TY: The Aliens curse continues. Whoever had the film before us used masking tape to attach leader to reel 3. But the SIPB people had a flashlight and kept the audience entertained with finger puppets.

JAH: I will now read a section from the LSC constitution on this matter. [reads extremely rapidly]
SLY: Point of personal privilege. Can you please read slower, or are you reading for your own benefit?

RAF: The money will be there, and we won't be able to touch it. Even if 26-100 blows up and we decide to build a giant IMAX screen.
vern: We should do that!

JAH: Where we differ here is on the meaning of the word funds.

KAR: There's one thing about 10-250 that I find really cool. That's this switch right here.

While projecting Saving Grace
SLY: See those people down there laughing? They're all from the MIT Hemp Coalition.

Presenting a list of things to be mocked during Bad Taste
Chorallary: Gay people.
Audience: (cheers)
Chorallary: Straight people.
Audience: (cheers)
Chorallary: Straight people who act gay.
Audience: (cheers)
Chorallary: Scooby-Doo.
Audience: (boos, groans)
Chorallary: LSC.
Audience: SUCKS!!!

During Bad Taste, Sunday, March 4, 2001
Audience: SUNDAY ... IN STEREO!!!
LSC Alum: Digital!
MIT Alum: In Mono!
Marc Horowitz: Not for a Sunday movie.